but i think i hate and i mean HATE enthusiasts and activists. example 1 motorcycle enthusiasts. there are 3 types. all of witch are cocky and ignorant. and example 2. 2nd amendment activists and open Carry weapon activists. they try to show its safe to carry guns out in the open in public witch i can understand. but reality is. the reason there are weapon laws in place is cause people like you. your ignorant and a bunch of cry babies. i saw a video of a open carry activist be a activist. he was walking down the highway and by that i mean a fucking highway. with a holster and a pistol. and hes just filming himself walking down the side of a highway with his gun when apparently the unthinkable happens. some one gets concerned and calls the police. he is held at gun point and he feels his 2nd amendment rights are being violated. yes the open carry law is legal where he was. but the same shit would have happened if he was walking there with nothing but a green wig and a cape. now the police get to reasoning with him and he refuses to give him any information even name. cause he believes it was a unlawful stop. anyways hes really annoying the cops are just trying to talk logic and hes not having any of it. but overall hes let go and he post the video on youtube and he talks about how the cops need to do there job better and learn there own laws before they pull a gun on us lawful and innocent citizens. i was hopping they change there mind and shoot him as hes walking away. and in the comment section of the video he only lets the comments that are on his side get shown and the 3 comments i tried to post he never accepted so i think im about to post this vid on here and you guys let me know what you think about this prick.
after weeks of delay im finally going to horror nights on halloween. i needed to gather all the troops. taryn cant make it but her boyfriend (my best friend from middle school). rocio and her bf jaszmine and her bf(who i hate.), shelby kaiyah, brianne, miney, hannah, tommy, kelsey, noah and finally austie and her siblings. 2 of them at least. and on top of that the following weekend austie and rocio and i are going to santa cruze in my new 1970 vw bus. witch im picking up on tuseday to party with taryn at her college. and before all of that witch i just planned right now this wendsday is the biggest scion meet in california at knots berry farm im taking my ride who ever is reading this and has a scion so plan up you get free tickets if you bring a childs toy worth 10$ or more for knots scary farm. austies present from me to her. she has no idea. gonna be sick. but yes that all i have for this month. bla bla bla bal
nick moved out lats saturday and i graduated last friday. so we have been in here alone for like what 5 days weve just been cleaning and watching movies and dancing and having un controllable amount of sex. even gave me a 3some for my graduation present. but the coollest thing about it is i didnt even ask or hint about it at all. she was just like hey this is my friend take your pants off. lol. i wish we could be jobless and life less for ever but it will end soon… damn money……
i have announced…… gangnam style is the fucking greatest song of this century. soon to be played out like fuck but still. my mind erupts with enjoyment from hearing this song and music video. i have no idea why. ill figure out a reason to hate it soon and get back to you.
i picked up austie from work. and she made and gave me a mix tape she made 6 years ago. not a cd a fucking mix tape. fucking amazing. but none of us had a tape player. witch we soon realized and went to 4 stores that sold them and finally got one. she wanted to show me what she was into back then. and it was probably the best flow of a mix tape i ever heard each song complimented the next. all these song from her middle school life. what amazed me was what she listend to it had the cramps foo fighters weezer modest mouse the killers bestie boys franz ferdinand green day and outkast. and on the other side was blink 182 queens of the stone age jack johnson wolfmother taking back sunday and more of some of the other bands. and the last song was bob dylan blowing in the wind. she listend to bob dylan before i even did. little bitch. but all the other songs really thro me back into my middle school phase. i use to think good music died in the 90s. now i realize great music isint dead. all these bands are not the same today but its still here it just comes in little chunks on occasion. we searched and searched on youtube for the little chunks and what we found was even better. what i found out today is that if you want new music that really hits you. follow what you grew up around. and see where those lyrics and sound went. what i found was beautiful. and new but makes me feel like im still in that happy place i was in middle school. it was amazing. today was a adventure like i never had. just a music hunting adventure. and we didnt even have to get off of the couch. im glad i can finaly share something thats so close to my hart with some one who feels the same. its been so amazing having her around. i realize i havent been smoking hookah as much i havent been upset. or depressed. and while typing this. i realized i had road rage growing and its gone. i dont drive fast anymore. all the cocky people i hated in class. i dont cuss them out in my mind in class anymore. i dont want to throw a starter motor at them anymore. i realize i improved. just having her around made me see the good in life like i never did before. her hippyness is growing on me. and it feels good. i feel like a child again like the days where there was nothing but good days. i underestamated how people around you really can effect you. i thought i never changed. but i realize in the past 4 years i really have. i was no where close to who i use to be. i thought i improved. but now im recovering. its a great feeling. and im so thankfull i have this person in my life. im not sure how our future is gona go me and her. but right now its perfect. and we really are doing our best to keep it this way. where both broke and lazy and young and may be futureless. but it dosent make a diffrence where happy and thats all we need to live. today was a great day.
i just want to let you know something. i am sorry for what i did. and im glad your happy now. belive it or not i am. i joke around about it yes. and i am sorry about what austie posted. but she is right and im not gonna stop her from speaking her mind out loud. neither yours. i feel like its a stupid tumbler battle about saying how much we hate eachother and how much happier we are and its getting worse. its retarded. i am glad where not together just as much as you im much happier and im sure you are. im sorry about the stupid shit where both saying. i do still have respect for you but i dont wanna talk to you. and im no longer gonna talk about how bad you where or how good you where. you dont have to do the same but it would be nice. just kinda a respect thing even tho you might not respect me at all. but no more shit talking please?. there is just as much i can say about you but i chose not to. you keep talking about how bad i was. isint helping you move on. your still holding on to things. please move on. you think you did but if you keep comparing and talking about me dosent make it look like it. can we end the tumblr hate? its getting old.
hello people of tumblr world! this is austie!!!!!!!!!!!! martin is asleep so im hacking his shit yo! lol. i want to talk about this boy. hes the best eveeeerrrrr!!! when i first met him he was soo awkward its adorable. i guess thats why i wanted to talk to him in the first place and im glad i did. we have so so much in common and everything he showed me all the things we did the places he took me. i havent had that much fun in a while hes so open and funny and hes my little awkward tedy bear. =D lol ok but seriously this guy is smart. and it took me a while but now i understand how he works after living with him for 4 weeks. when he told me what he said to his ex i honestly thought it was genius i saw and read everything and at first i thought he really was nuts but it worked. jea if your reading this he said all of that because thats what you believed. hes not “mentally unstable” hes just telling you what you wanted to hear. and im glad your so fucked up now cause this boy dosent need someone like you. for some one to let a guy like this go is truly ignorant. burn bitch lol. okok but seriously im being hyper and off subject again. what im trying to say is i really do love this guy. hes my best friend and hopefully pretty soon my boyfriend too. i understand why hes waiting. hes being careful this time. he dosent wanna be hurt. but little dose he knoe…….. hes already mine ;D lol im so comfortable around him cuddling arguing with him shouting penis in ontario mills playing videogames having sex getting drunk.. just living with him is amazing my friends love him. im not afried to admit anything about what we do and neither is he. our lazy days are amazing. chipotle hookah video games the midnight carls jr. just getting fat with him. lol sex is unbelievable. ;D we are into the same things! i thought i was alone with my weirdness but im not! netflix days are awesome. i love the movies he showed me. and he gets really into my movies and we talk about it and suff is so fucking fun i love it. we are going to horror nights on the 5th and with his friends on the 31st!! so excited. i never been there! only thing i would change about him? is put a ring on it! boooyaahhhhh!! lol k i think im done bye!! <3333
me and austie went to irwendale to run our cars….. she beat me but thats not the point. i love being able to talk about cars with some one as intrested in it as me. an amazing person to be around and im glad she stays with me now. yes she moved in and shes coming back with me to sfv in october. i cant wait. :)
I feel so much better. And I’m not even sure from what.but I think I’m back on my original track. I’ve really fucked up and for some reason on Thursday I thought a good bottle of jack daniels could fix all of that. And Friday too. Witch it did until I wake up in the morning. Not a hangover. But a slap back into my life. Where I realize I’m hopless. Then I talk to a bunch of people and went really deep inside my self. And let a lot of shit out on Friday. After that. Idk what happend but I woke up saturday feeling fresh and clean. Like a new start or something. But i still don’t know why. @ around 1150. I went to jamba jucie and then won’t to the mills. Thinking that I could be a mall rat for the day I strolled the mall aimlessly didn’t by shit unfilled about my third time around I for some reason went into hot topic( well I waited for Justin bieber to stop playing) and I went to look at the shirts but I was greeted by this young girl working there. Who I reconized cause I seen her there a long time ago. She had a green shirt with domo on it. And leapord style tights on underneath a dark pair of slightly ripped blue shorts on and her hair was slightly messy but cute and a really trippy color blue died hair. Green eyes dimple peircings and a nose pearcing. She looked adorable but I figured she was 17 so I just said hi and walked in she greeted a few more people as she was folding shirts. Then went behind the counter then I turned my attention to the nirvana tshirts. And then strolled down to the pink Floyd then I hear do you need any help. In the most playfull way. She was radiating with joy and happyness. Like she loved her job witch I can respect. Just as I was about awnser she comented on my shirt. I was. wearing a big lebowski shirt. She asked where did I get that shirt I awnsered in a store in hollywood. She asked why was I there. (Ontario is very far from Hollywood so I guess that’s why she asked.) I said I go there from time to time cause that’s where I use to live. She started folding shirts but her full attention was on me when she asked have you ever been to fuku burger. And I didn’t belive she asked me that question cause I couldent belive she knew about the place. So I said what? With a very awkward studer. She asked again fuku near ameoba records and I said yea I love it there its amazing. And she. Said she use to live there in Hollywood. And then she said you look really familiar where you here in June a while ago? And I rememberd that that’s when I first saw here. I said yes. Then I asked her name she said austie. I said my name and like a dumbass I am trying to hit on girls I asked to you like photography. I sounded like a awkward michale cera from superbad. She gigled and I swear I almost pissed my self it was the most adorable laugh I’ve heard in a long time. She said yea I have a nikon d3100. First I was shocked that she didn’t turn around and walk away from awkward little clusterfuck me. Then I thought I had that same camra. I asked where did she get it age said she got it for her 18th birthday. Same as me. She told me that her birthday was in October 15th. And I said its a really good camra and she said yea I know. hold on. and walked away I was like I dun fucked up that convo so I was on my way out the door. Then as I walked past her behind the counter she shouted (with not one fuck given to the attention she gained by saying it that loudly. ) hey dude I told you to hold on! Wait right there napolian! Fully embarrassd I chuckeld and and then hid behind the belts and waited for her. Then not a second later she swung around the corner and got right in my face and said I said hold on what are you annoyed by me. I said no I just umm. Idk… And a long awkward pause with a adele song in the back ground. she said there’s a kick back in Ontario idk if that’s your thing but I’m gonna be there @ 8 if you wanna come along we can hang out I don’t know anyone there. My roomate nick told about that and he’s going but I said. Yea probably I got nothing to do today. She said cool with a smile and handed me a paper with her name and number on it. And said txt me!!! On it. I thought how weird it is that she is the first new girl to walk up to me and talk to me since I’ve been going out with Jea and right after we broke up. But I figured it was too soon to get back into dateing and as I was enetering her number in my phone in my car I thought it was just a friend jestuire so I sent her a txt. Just saying hey its Martin. so that she could txt me. After that I didn’t even feel like going after that. So I procided to mcdonalds. As I was eating Tyler called me. My friend from uti. And asked if I wanted to hang out with him and his girlfriend who also went to uti. I said yea I’m down for a new spot. Later on at about 7 we arrived and enjoyed some pretty shitty hookah and talked about what happend with my girlfriend and our brake up. Then her friend txted her about a kickback in the area I said sure ill go. They bought some beer and mikes hard lemonade for me. And we went there. It ended up just being us and 3 other dudes. Who where pretty Damn funny and chill so I stuck around I sat around and listen to the convorsations and peter said I can’t stand being in one place and said he wants to go for a drive. Then asked me about what car I drive and said let’s go for a drive. I looked at Tyler like saying is this guy serious? But then next thing I know eye where in my car on the way to the hills for a drive. Just me and some dude I just met. Asking me if I street race and I said kinda. And he said there’s street racers up here all the time. The road was smothe with banked corners and 2 lanes kinda like Beverly hills in the hills near all the mansons only no houses and a lot darker a little down hill a little up. I was amazing. So I’m driving like how I always do on roads like that. Like I’m playing video games with a ferrari on Forza. But he’s injoying it before hand we where talking about driving. But now he coments on my cars handleing saying he can’t belive how much grip it has. I told him what tires I had. Toyo proxys 4. He imeadiatly knew what I was talking about. And guessed the price of them spot on. I told him that Thas all your really need to have fun is a good pair of tires. And continued to talk about my car. On the way back the road started to calm down. So I let him drive. He tells me he dosent drive fast witch I belive. So he’s talking about how he’s use to manuels so he keeps reaching for the shifter. I asked him if he wanted to see the sick part of my car. Witch is my brakes. I told him to floor it to 60 and crush the brakes and he did and standing as a pasanger in my car I was impressed my brakes worked that good. I watched the point where he started braking and to the point where my car stoped. It was under probably 100 feet witch it impressive for any car that I know Thas like mine. I knew they where good but I never paying that much attention to them before like I did that night. He said that it was insaine how quick it was. We kept driving. It was 930 so I looked at my phone to see if austie texted me. She didn’t. And for some reason it got quiet. Probably cause I got quiet. But we got back to the house peter left and gave me his number. And so it was me Tyler his girlfriend and her friend. 2 more beers for each of us and we where about to leave. Tyler asked me what I was gonna do next. I said idk I was suppose to get a txt from some one but never happend. And I told them about the girl from hot topic. And ana. Tylers girlfriend. In a very drunkly spoken way told me how I should txt her. I wasent gonna listen to her cause well I couldent understand her. We said good by and I lead Tyler and ana to the freeway where we all parted and went on our way home. I’m not sure why but I called austie. Maybe by accedent but I don’t remeber why and she didn’t awnser so I called nick and he didn’t awnser. I get off the freeway on haven and she calles back saying how she’s sorry she didn’t wanna seem like she ditched but her ride bailed on her. But I said its fine what are you doing?. She told me to come over to dell taco near her house. I said I’m down so I met her there. And she got in my car and we continuied to drive off to nowhere. We talked and talked. I was talking about me and Jea. And everything I told her Friday. And I mean everything. Idk why but I felt so comfterble telling her. Idk if it was me with a new confadince about my life or if it was because of her. But she didn’t seemed to weirded out by it. She just said she understands where she’s coming from and she asked me about my car. And I started talking and she talked back I realise this girl knows what she talking about. She spoke my languege fluently. And it was amazing I never had this convorsation before about cars. With anyone. It was grate we talked more about movies and music and she ended up going to new York film acadamy just like me but after I did. We talked about that a little more then about her home life she lives with her parents. But there ok with her being out late so she asked if I smoked hookah and if we could go to velvet room but I told her it was closed I said before how I had a hookah. So she asked if it was ok if we went to smoke. And we ended up at my house watching Jakie brown on netflix and smoking hookah she was on the big couch and I layed down on the blue car seat. We watched the movie in almost compleat silence. It was a quentin tarentino movie. She told me I was the first person to enjoy a movie like she did. She loved the movie and she loved the silence. She’s unbelivabley like me. We started watching tv and talked more. Then watched Joe dirt. But we where talking throu it. And then watched the god father where we where quiet. I fell asleep on the floor with a pillow. And she layed down on the couch I wake up at 8am. And she was next to me cuddling didn’t fall asleep with her but I woke up with her there. I couldent belive it. I see that she good the coles off the hookah and turned off the tv. But I figured that her parents would be worried to I panicked and woke her up. Asked me what’s wrong. Still tired and I think you accedentaly slept over. Are your parents gonna trip? She pulled me back down next to her and said no its fine. Don’t worry about it and cuddle with me napolian. I’m cold. I laughed and put my arm around her again. But I didn’t sleep I was stuck on why is she doing this… Is she using me? Dose she do this with everyone else. Is this a one night thing? So when she went back to sleep I got up and layed on the couch. Still thinking what is going on.. it was weird. But I saw her lying there tossing and turning. So I gently took her to my bed and then went back into the living room and watched tv. Still wondering Wtf is going on and if this is actually happening. Am I imaging it or am I now making up imaginary friends again. Nick wakes up walks out. And asks what’s up puto.. I ask him to go in my room and ask him what dose he see. He said he sees a girl with blue hair in my bed. And he says what the fuck is going on? I didn’t say anything and went to my bed. With her. She wakes up and said goodmorning Marty pooh. And sits up looking at me. And she said. Where where you all night I said I was in the living room. She said I’m sorry. I asked what for? She said idk I kinda feel like I shouldn’t have done that. And you probaly don’t like me that kinda way. And I said. No I don’t mind. I like you I’m just not sure if I’m dreaming or what she kissed me on the head and said I’m not imaginary. Your not going crazy. I actually think your awesome. And layed back down next to me turned towards me smiling. Looking at me. As if she’s thinking the same thing as me. Is this the best thing that happend to me? How lucky am I to meet this person. I havent been that happy in a while. She’s so playful and filled with joy all the time from when I first met her last morning. But I can see her now. She looks even happier and I can actually see it in her. Today. We had the most relaxing day. She didn’t txt one person except her parents and neaither did I. Other then a hour ago. But we had eat others full attention. All day and all night. You know what? I’m really happy now. And this may be too soon but I think I love this girl. She’s been standing infront of me while I’ve been typing this. Dancing to the the music on my fav station 100.3 on the radio. And I think I’m gonna join her. As far as right now. Shit works out. :) I’m gonna keep going in this new direction and see what happens. Seeya later;)
what im thinking right now. this moment. like now.
i believe the best way to live is to never plan ahead. planing ahead is too much to handle sometimes to much worry to much trying to get things right. trying to aim your life in one direction can ruin everything thats great about it. if you live in the moment anything can happen. thats the problem with everyone. thats why everyone gets stressed out. make today the best day ever every day cause tomorrow might not happen. its simple to do if you understand the potential. most people cant get a grasp on it. i see all this emotion all this drama all this sadness in everyone. i understand where there coming from. life is to short to stay in one place tho. people who plan on getting married or having kids and there only like 17-20. it bothers me some times. people have no idea how important life is when your this age. if you think about it. thinking like ahead of your self. what memories are you gonna have when your 50-80. just the memories of how you wanted everything to be so perfect you wont remember your child hood. i had time to to talk to this 6 year old boy today. and just see them play. they have the right idea. their not thinking about the next 5 mins there having to much fun. the smile they have. and then you look at teen agers trying to get a good job. trying to deal with there relationship issues. we are still to young to be dealing with this and thats a fact. dont get me wrong i truly believe in imagination i think its the greatest thing about us. but its different. imagination is fun. worrying about the future isn’t. life isn’t perfect and thats a fact. deal with it.those moments where you feel like your life is ruined. life is gonna happen no matter what. it wont stop because something went wrong. the reason why that happened is because its suppose to. to teach you better to make you better….ive been thinking on doing something. it may be stupid but seriously money isn’t important to me. art is. i wanna quit the job at the shop. and focus more on photography dont get me wrong. i love cars and i do want to continue but as of right now. i need to release the stress. it makes me happy. i dont mean to sound like i have it down but i do think i have a gift. not photography but my thought process. i can think totally unbiased. like think on both sides, in and out of the box. i should exploit this more to help other people. the best i can. i know i wont solve everything but i know ill always try. the only person i met that can think like i can and i can have a deep conversation with and understand everything is my best friend jess. she helps me with so much and i do the same with her. everything i dont think of she thinks of. she can help people better then i can i know she can. she is alot smarter then me and alot quicker. but shes not as detailed as i can be. i miss her alot. shes my sister. i grew up with her. and i know she will always be there for me. she never let me down. and then theres jea. complete opposite of me. but idk i really really like her. i love her. there are some things i wish she can change about her self. but i will never demand anything from her. or make her change anything about herself. shes not perfect but shes amazing. i honestly dont get why i like her so much but i really want her in my future and i know this is contrary to what i was talking about earilyer but i dont know. i feel a connection. idk if all of this is good or not. me and her. but im not thinking of that if im happy with her now than i love her. and i want her here now. in my life. she makes me really happy. shes beautiful. her smile her laugh shes adorable. i dont see external i see what things and people stand for and what they look like inside the internal meaning. something about her i love. i still try to figure it out to this day. well thats all i have to say sorry about my hippy shit up here but i needed to say something. hopefully this would help someone. in there life. goodnight.